What if we are actually alone in this universe?
i was just having a thought, we here reports nowadays of people dropping dead at 25 due to heart attacks, now why is that? our lifestyles are so terrible that we do not take care of our health and we push our bodies with no mercy. what if this is a cycle. like everything that has perpertrated this earth, this has happend before. then there is a huge explosion, Ice age starts again, and then man rebuilds everything.the mere existance of man on this earth has perpetratuted the relms of life. man (and women for that fact) have ruined, plundered, raped and abused all the resources that this earth has to offer us, that mother earth finally says, fuck off. and shuts down. and when that happens, the second ice age comes about, or would it be the nth ice age. where everything gets wiped off, and we all are terminated. but then, nature reboots and life as we know it starts from the beggings. and then we have the dinosars, and apes and then man, stone age, bronze age, coal age and then computer age.
but the sad thing of this cycle of life is the fact that the learnings of presevering nature and conservigin our resources would not be learnt again. so we as a race will ahve the hard path.
its very similar to the matrix, and the room. like the creator says, you need to die, and your code will go back into the matrix. for it needs to be started again.
what if life were like that?
what if we are really alone. and aliens are not aleiens but humans who in the previous incarnations of earth were able to develop technology so advance, but up to speed on their time, and they come back to earth after circling the universe. so we assume that its "time travel" but its actually just travel!
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Sunday, May 07, 2006
CRM
CRM: Managing Customers or Managing Expectations?
On the outset, the need to understand the customer has been growing steadily ever since the requirement for the customer profitability came before the term company profitability. The customers worth is no longer a term that refers to the personal assets of the individual but on how much he or she contributes the company coffers. In the urge to extract more from the customer, corporate are leveraging on technology to try and capture buying habits, and anything else that would help contribute to increasing the customers spend. The shift has been noticed from increasing the mind share of the product with the customer to increasing the “wallet” share, roughly translating to increasing the “per customer” spend.
According to a leading research house, wallet shares are increasing in India in the household sector. It has grown by a whopping 47% in 2005 as compared to the previous year. That means two things, one, being the companies are able to target their customers better, by placing the things that the consumer wants to buy alone on the shelves, or that consumers themselves have loosed their purse strings a little more. This can be evident from the exponential growth of disposable incomes that have risen to about 20 – 30% above the prevailing wages .
The advent of technology and the advancement in field of data mining has lead to companies targeting its specified clientele, the prime example is the diapers kept in the back, through the racks of toys, this forces children to go through them especially when they are being accompanied by their parents. The reseach that must have gone in to the entire exercise in order to execute this simple yet effective strategy in order to increase the “wallet Share” of the customer, must have been lots.
However, what if there was no technology, what if there existed smaller more personalized localized groceries as opposed to large super stores? What if there spirit of entrepreneurship broke out from the shackles of large corporations? What if the spirit of the small retailer or service provider was admired more than the discounts being offered by chain stores and larger chain retailers?
Prior to the advent of software and data mining technology how did stores manage to maintain and in fact grow relationships with their consumers? Personal relationships are the answer. There still exist shops that maintain these methods to maintain and grow the existing relationships.
One of the most fitting examples of managing customers is the local barbershop. The appearance of a person is the most important as that is what the world sees of them. The service being offered by this particular saloon has made me go back to him for about 8 years now. It is very simple. Everybody there greets with a smile. They know what kind of hair cut you would like. And they upsell. After the hair cut, they inevitably give you a small massage, after that they would ask you if you would like to oil your head and have a proper massage. Now, having sampled the goods, you are very tempted to give in, and this generally makes you feel much more relaxed.
So how does an establishment retain customers and grow them without technology? The answer is the human computer. Emotional level selling is something most marketers aim for, but few achieve. Striking a chord with the customer is like getting the formula of the magic portion (from Asterix), and this saloon does that.
The very simple fact of being recogonized boosts the image of the consumer to feel wanted. There is the warmth factor, the smile that makes all the difference. Once you are seated, you are asked if you want to cut it like how you did it the last time, if you are the experimenting sort, you would say no, and give another style, else, the regular cut. They cut, and then message.
So how do they keep in touch? They talk to the customers, enquire about their families, ask if everything is all right, and very polite questions. This brings to the next point of the power of observation. If some time you go with someone, they notice that and ask you the following time. All this adds brownie points.
Reading material while waiting for your turn: based on you appearance, the magazine is given. If you look like a native, you are given a local language paper. If you look like an outsider, you are given an English language periodical. Now, this is also done with caution, the local language periodicals are kept by the side, and the other periodical is given. This definitely adds brownie points as I am given what I want to read.
Upselling: as mentioned earlier, the massage, and sometime beauty treatments like face packs, shaves and hair treatment are also offered to the consumer, depending on the kind of customer who comes in.
Hence it can be seen that the advent of technology has not infiltrated this particular saloon, however, this has not deterd them from using CRM to acquire, retain but also grow customers. However, this case the Customer Relationship Management is just that, managing the relationships with the customer.
On the outset, the need to understand the customer has been growing steadily ever since the requirement for the customer profitability came before the term company profitability. The customers worth is no longer a term that refers to the personal assets of the individual but on how much he or she contributes the company coffers. In the urge to extract more from the customer, corporate are leveraging on technology to try and capture buying habits, and anything else that would help contribute to increasing the customers spend. The shift has been noticed from increasing the mind share of the product with the customer to increasing the “wallet” share, roughly translating to increasing the “per customer” spend.
According to a leading research house, wallet shares are increasing in India in the household sector. It has grown by a whopping 47% in 2005 as compared to the previous year. That means two things, one, being the companies are able to target their customers better, by placing the things that the consumer wants to buy alone on the shelves, or that consumers themselves have loosed their purse strings a little more. This can be evident from the exponential growth of disposable incomes that have risen to about 20 – 30% above the prevailing wages .
The advent of technology and the advancement in field of data mining has lead to companies targeting its specified clientele, the prime example is the diapers kept in the back, through the racks of toys, this forces children to go through them especially when they are being accompanied by their parents. The reseach that must have gone in to the entire exercise in order to execute this simple yet effective strategy in order to increase the “wallet Share” of the customer, must have been lots.
However, what if there was no technology, what if there existed smaller more personalized localized groceries as opposed to large super stores? What if there spirit of entrepreneurship broke out from the shackles of large corporations? What if the spirit of the small retailer or service provider was admired more than the discounts being offered by chain stores and larger chain retailers?
Prior to the advent of software and data mining technology how did stores manage to maintain and in fact grow relationships with their consumers? Personal relationships are the answer. There still exist shops that maintain these methods to maintain and grow the existing relationships.
One of the most fitting examples of managing customers is the local barbershop. The appearance of a person is the most important as that is what the world sees of them. The service being offered by this particular saloon has made me go back to him for about 8 years now. It is very simple. Everybody there greets with a smile. They know what kind of hair cut you would like. And they upsell. After the hair cut, they inevitably give you a small massage, after that they would ask you if you would like to oil your head and have a proper massage. Now, having sampled the goods, you are very tempted to give in, and this generally makes you feel much more relaxed.
So how does an establishment retain customers and grow them without technology? The answer is the human computer. Emotional level selling is something most marketers aim for, but few achieve. Striking a chord with the customer is like getting the formula of the magic portion (from Asterix), and this saloon does that.
The very simple fact of being recogonized boosts the image of the consumer to feel wanted. There is the warmth factor, the smile that makes all the difference. Once you are seated, you are asked if you want to cut it like how you did it the last time, if you are the experimenting sort, you would say no, and give another style, else, the regular cut. They cut, and then message.
So how do they keep in touch? They talk to the customers, enquire about their families, ask if everything is all right, and very polite questions. This brings to the next point of the power of observation. If some time you go with someone, they notice that and ask you the following time. All this adds brownie points.
Reading material while waiting for your turn: based on you appearance, the magazine is given. If you look like a native, you are given a local language paper. If you look like an outsider, you are given an English language periodical. Now, this is also done with caution, the local language periodicals are kept by the side, and the other periodical is given. This definitely adds brownie points as I am given what I want to read.
Upselling: as mentioned earlier, the massage, and sometime beauty treatments like face packs, shaves and hair treatment are also offered to the consumer, depending on the kind of customer who comes in.
Hence it can be seen that the advent of technology has not infiltrated this particular saloon, however, this has not deterd them from using CRM to acquire, retain but also grow customers. However, this case the Customer Relationship Management is just that, managing the relationships with the customer.
Friday, April 28, 2006
surreal but nice!
Just got back from a discussion with the chairman of a very very large conglomerate firm. the experience, of just being one of the faces in the crowd was amazing. seeing someone like him, up close and personal. however, any event is shrouded with beauracy, asskissing and ball licking (well, i just added that cause it rhymed). it was nice, nad i had to choose just this one great day to fall ill.
what i really admired, the humbleness of this great man. it really makes me think, leaders are made, they are born. humble, and so down to earth, it amazes me on these fronts. he actually came all the way to meet us, even though it was for a rather short time, he could have said he was busy, which i am sure he is, but to think he flew in, spoke to us, and flew back. i usually commute by car, not by a plane! WOW!
anywyas, i guess this is one day i will remember!
what i really admired, the humbleness of this great man. it really makes me think, leaders are made, they are born. humble, and so down to earth, it amazes me on these fronts. he actually came all the way to meet us, even though it was for a rather short time, he could have said he was busy, which i am sure he is, but to think he flew in, spoke to us, and flew back. i usually commute by car, not by a plane! WOW!
anywyas, i guess this is one day i will remember!
Monday, April 24, 2006
Rod Ney!
Just had my first corporate rape today!
it was done so smoothly, god! i knew it was coming, but did not want to think about i!
someone was to send me some files that i had to upload today( working in an IT Firm, you have to upload, download, in load out load, etc load etc!)
and he was like "i will do it over sunday, i promise!"
he did fuckall! unless he did work really hard to finsih it, fucker has forgotten to send it to me!
but the learning fromm this, i took me only 3omins to do, so i was wondering what was taking him so much time! gwad! these software companies! ridiclous!~
it was done so smoothly, god! i knew it was coming, but did not want to think about i!
someone was to send me some files that i had to upload today( working in an IT Firm, you have to upload, download, in load out load, etc load etc!)
and he was like "i will do it over sunday, i promise!"
he did fuckall! unless he did work really hard to finsih it, fucker has forgotten to send it to me!
but the learning fromm this, i took me only 3omins to do, so i was wondering what was taking him so much time! gwad! these software companies! ridiclous!~
Sunday, April 23, 2006
cells in blore
a take on my friends blog! http://raghu1981.blogspot.com/
Well, if you actually look into the larger relm of life, you will see that cities that have the highest number of "cellphone thefts", also have the highest floating population, low average age, and high levels of unemployment in the lower socio economic strat. now i am NOT pointing fingers here to say that they are doing it, or anything,all i am saying is that there are urges by people to go upto the level of comfort they see. i personally feel that the recent unrest in the city was a fitting example. the person who passed away was not a violent being. he advocated peace and in response, the rioting and damage caused not just to physical estabilshments, but the economy due to the closure of several insttitutions! appaling!
similarly, the university town of pune, the bastillion of shivaji, also one of the higest number of cellphone thefts. the best way to measure the cellphone theft rate is to measure the cell pohone sales rates.
cellphones are stolen, sold to first time phone users, the loosers go and buy legitimate phones.
just for them to get stolen again!
WELKOME.. to the moon!
Well, if you actually look into the larger relm of life, you will see that cities that have the highest number of "cellphone thefts", also have the highest floating population, low average age, and high levels of unemployment in the lower socio economic strat. now i am NOT pointing fingers here to say that they are doing it, or anything,all i am saying is that there are urges by people to go upto the level of comfort they see. i personally feel that the recent unrest in the city was a fitting example. the person who passed away was not a violent being. he advocated peace and in response, the rioting and damage caused not just to physical estabilshments, but the economy due to the closure of several insttitutions! appaling!
similarly, the university town of pune, the bastillion of shivaji, also one of the higest number of cellphone thefts. the best way to measure the cellphone theft rate is to measure the cell pohone sales rates.
cellphones are stolen, sold to first time phone users, the loosers go and buy legitimate phones.
just for them to get stolen again!
WELKOME.. to the moon!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
arguments!
Well, its rather interesting, someone i know has started a blog, and they have asked for people to contribute articles etc etc, now what is the concept of a blog. what ever was intended, rock on!
work is going on all great. i wsa told i dont keep in touch with people. kinda sad. we live in a world where there are no longer any boundaries, but just borders. we have people but few friends, we care enough not to bother.
what have we all become? electronice ZOMBIES!
when was the last time anyone picked up a paper and pen and wrote. that was the reason i guess i started this blog!
i remember when i used to write muy assignments, my fingers used to pain, but now my whole hand gets screwed, thats RSS i think or repetitive stress syndrom! the computer is killing us, mind body and soul!
work is going on all great. i wsa told i dont keep in touch with people. kinda sad. we live in a world where there are no longer any boundaries, but just borders. we have people but few friends, we care enough not to bother.
what have we all become? electronice ZOMBIES!
when was the last time anyone picked up a paper and pen and wrote. that was the reason i guess i started this blog!
i remember when i used to write muy assignments, my fingers used to pain, but now my whole hand gets screwed, thats RSS i think or repetitive stress syndrom! the computer is killing us, mind body and soul!
Friday, April 07, 2006
Adventures of Qwerty
Well, so we have our little programmer hero dude, Querty. working in one of them swank office buildings, centralized airconditioning (thats is standard nowa adays), free coffee, highly subsidized lunches, etcetc, but then whats his problem?
Qwerty fails to comply with the social norms. apparently there is something called Social engagement rules( or something on those grounds) that state that apparently, when in a public place / social gathering, there are norms that one needs to adhere to. sometimes i feel that ridiculus. its just saying that our society is getting faker by the day. if i am happy inside, i have everything going just great for me, why must i project that to the world? i just keep a straignt (appears sulking to others) face. now i see no reason to smile when i am happy, frown when sad, scowl when scowly and fret when mad. it defets the purpose that man is a creature who is supposed to have contorol over his emotions. there was once this story i read, i dont remember where, that there was this great sage meditating in the himalayas. and he was so great that the gods also used to come to him. now one day whilst he was wlaking in the forest, a bird shat on him, the sage got so angry that he was about to curse the bird when he bit his tounge and held back. he asked himself the question, what is the point of being such a great sage is i cannot even have control over my most basic emotions.
society has tuned us in to being things that we are not. if a person is happy today and not so happy tomorow, what is that person : manic depressive.
sad sad: depressive
happy bappy throughout - manic
why?
its rather ridiculs!
anywya,s c'et la vie!
Qwerty fails to comply with the social norms. apparently there is something called Social engagement rules( or something on those grounds) that state that apparently, when in a public place / social gathering, there are norms that one needs to adhere to. sometimes i feel that ridiculus. its just saying that our society is getting faker by the day. if i am happy inside, i have everything going just great for me, why must i project that to the world? i just keep a straignt (appears sulking to others) face. now i see no reason to smile when i am happy, frown when sad, scowl when scowly and fret when mad. it defets the purpose that man is a creature who is supposed to have contorol over his emotions. there was once this story i read, i dont remember where, that there was this great sage meditating in the himalayas. and he was so great that the gods also used to come to him. now one day whilst he was wlaking in the forest, a bird shat on him, the sage got so angry that he was about to curse the bird when he bit his tounge and held back. he asked himself the question, what is the point of being such a great sage is i cannot even have control over my most basic emotions.
society has tuned us in to being things that we are not. if a person is happy today and not so happy tomorow, what is that person : manic depressive.
sad sad: depressive
happy bappy throughout - manic
why?
its rather ridiculs!
anywya,s c'et la vie!
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Our Greatest Fear
I heard this in the movie "Coach Carter", but it really had an impact on me!
nice!
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, talented, fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that
other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in ALL of us.
As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."
-- Marianne Williamson, also often attributed to Nelson Mandela or Maya Angelou
nice!
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, talented, fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that
other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in ALL of us.
As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."
-- Marianne Williamson, also often attributed to Nelson Mandela or Maya Angelou
Friday, March 31, 2006
confuseD!
i am really confused!
i really dont know what is happening in my life! seriously!
i cant ask for anyting more.
great family life, great job, great friends.... i have everything anyone can ask for! but im not happy. why? so many times i have tried to ask myself the same question! why am i not happy? what is that one butt plug that is making me look to life with a constipated look? i guess i am trying really hard to be happy. i know i can be happy, cause on the weekends, i am fucking extatic! packing my weekends with things, i cant ask for anyting else, but longer weekends! :-) i guess this would just become another rutt in the rat race! coming to work, doing some work, going bakc home! now thats a wheel of work!
i have sat and raked my brains! and have finlly concured! my job sux! really, the job profile and work is great! amazing to be precise! but i feel rather lost in my current company.
i am a pin in a haystack, going to be eaten by a cow! now hows that for the pin! considering if i dont do anytting, i am going to land up in shit! now that i feel is a career path!
i guess i have a yearning to start something! i think i will decide by this weekend if i will be continuing with this job or not!
well, lets see!
thats all i can say for now!
i really dont know what is happening in my life! seriously!
i cant ask for anyting more.
great family life, great job, great friends.... i have everything anyone can ask for! but im not happy. why? so many times i have tried to ask myself the same question! why am i not happy? what is that one butt plug that is making me look to life with a constipated look? i guess i am trying really hard to be happy. i know i can be happy, cause on the weekends, i am fucking extatic! packing my weekends with things, i cant ask for anyting else, but longer weekends! :-) i guess this would just become another rutt in the rat race! coming to work, doing some work, going bakc home! now thats a wheel of work!
i have sat and raked my brains! and have finlly concured! my job sux! really, the job profile and work is great! amazing to be precise! but i feel rather lost in my current company.
i am a pin in a haystack, going to be eaten by a cow! now hows that for the pin! considering if i dont do anytting, i am going to land up in shit! now that i feel is a career path!
i guess i have a yearning to start something! i think i will decide by this weekend if i will be continuing with this job or not!
well, lets see!
thats all i can say for now!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
an Irish toast
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
Mnemonic
Mirrors are liers.
they lie about everything. they tell you that you are good looking, they tell you that you are thin, they tell you what youwant to see, exactly like their commarades, the weighing machines. They lie as well, in this case however, they tell you that you ARE fat, and you really NEED to loose weight!
anyways, why this sudden take off on the mirror. this morning i had my moment of truth. the grim tragic truth. from about 10 feet from the mirror, i look dashingly handsome and well muscluared, however, on "closer" inspection, i look like a blob of fat. anywyas, the fat is so well "blobbed" that my stomach and chest looks exactly like homer simpsons face, now THAT is tragic. my gym has an over abundance of glass all over and which ever direction i look, i see a handsome me! now, that does make me feel good to a certain extent, as long as i am far away, but the closer i get, the uglier i get! so, the solution to the "problem", light travels faster and further. so stay far away. another intresting phenomenon, men gossip as much, if not more than women. god, its brutal, if there is a bunch of guys around, yak yak yak yak.... about anyihng under the sun. this i noticed during my work out sessions. everything from corruption to film news, to peoples lives to the quality of the weights. i mean for crying out loud, a weight HAS to be, a) heavy, b) heavy and c) heavy. what more can you discuss about a cast iron blob of metal? well, evidently, there IS a lot that can be discussed! :)
lessons of life!
:)
they lie about everything. they tell you that you are good looking, they tell you that you are thin, they tell you what youwant to see, exactly like their commarades, the weighing machines. They lie as well, in this case however, they tell you that you ARE fat, and you really NEED to loose weight!
anyways, why this sudden take off on the mirror. this morning i had my moment of truth. the grim tragic truth. from about 10 feet from the mirror, i look dashingly handsome and well muscluared, however, on "closer" inspection, i look like a blob of fat. anywyas, the fat is so well "blobbed" that my stomach and chest looks exactly like homer simpsons face, now THAT is tragic. my gym has an over abundance of glass all over and which ever direction i look, i see a handsome me! now, that does make me feel good to a certain extent, as long as i am far away, but the closer i get, the uglier i get! so, the solution to the "problem", light travels faster and further. so stay far away. another intresting phenomenon, men gossip as much, if not more than women. god, its brutal, if there is a bunch of guys around, yak yak yak yak.... about anyihng under the sun. this i noticed during my work out sessions. everything from corruption to film news, to peoples lives to the quality of the weights. i mean for crying out loud, a weight HAS to be, a) heavy, b) heavy and c) heavy. what more can you discuss about a cast iron blob of metal? well, evidently, there IS a lot that can be discussed! :)
lessons of life!
:)
Monday, March 06, 2006
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Horn-y!
well, the devious marketeers mind can think of any hook to catch the gulliable fish( Read:Customer) to try the goods. in this case, my devious mind thinks of the seven sins, and well, since you have reached till this line, i can assume my strategy has work. sadly, this has nothing to do with any of the seven sins, but more like the 8th sin. Being an irate bus driver.
i must tell you at this point of the kind gentleman, who's service to my company is his unique skill of driving a 40ft piece of metal like a 6ft rover mini. the best part is that he not only lives an illusion that the piece of metal, that is a 20tonne bus, is as small as a car, but also that he is driving a rally in traffic.
he achieves break neck speeds, (that is by breaking the innocent bystanders necks) by some craxzy ass rash driving, but also with his Horn. (now you know the story of the title)
I will call him the Arnold Schwarzenegger of horns.
He has a horn for every occassion and every situation.
But why Arnold Schwarzenegger? simply because in the Movie commando, he has a gun for every occasion.
Here is an MP5, ideal for cleaning teeth, combing hair and blowing off the earlobes of a person within a 70ft range.
Next on the shelf is a baretta 0.45, ideal for combating road rage, silincing irratating critters and mugging someone.
anyways, my gentleman bus driver, has a horn for every body. His body, her body, dead body, everybody!
First, the high pitched Air horn, for close combat: If its a 2 wheeler, or a bus within a 10 ft range. The range here is from my bus's front bumper to the driver of the condemed vehicle. consistent blowing gives everyone such a headache that they have to pull over to buy an asprin. the day it was fitted, i could swear that the driver wore a wicked smile seeing other drivers veer off near pharmacys. i on the other hand sitting right behind this maniac almost threw up due to the consistant badgering.
Next, the regular horn. tuned to the note C on a keyboard, however far far less pleasant, this is used as the standard equipment horn. red light turns to green, PHWEEEEE! Green light turns to red! PHWEEEEE!( Now, this is only if he bother to stop, i did however wonder why did he do that, was he displaying his displeausre at the signal, well, these are one of those GAKs, or God Alone Knows)
Incase there is a vehicle who is refusing to move from his path, there is the multi note horn, i suspect its tuned to C and A, does break across wavelenghts. The amplitude is also rather large as this is BLOODY loud. so, if he begings to loose his cool, in comes the MP5 of horns.
Now the mother of all horns, The OICW of horns ( Objective Individual Combat Weapon for the un initiated, it was a special weapons program by HK), the THREE tone horn, this is once he HAs lost his cool. now i would much rather not be around when he does blow it, and defninlty not in Front of the bloody bus, but this is saved for those rare occasions of Lboard dirives, and imcompetent nincompops. !
anyways, i am sure from past history our gentleman has a hidden stash of horns like grenades. he keeps replenshing his arsenal every now and then.
well, god do help those who cross his path, and refuse to give way, even if there is NO way to move, just move!
:)
i must tell you at this point of the kind gentleman, who's service to my company is his unique skill of driving a 40ft piece of metal like a 6ft rover mini. the best part is that he not only lives an illusion that the piece of metal, that is a 20tonne bus, is as small as a car, but also that he is driving a rally in traffic.
he achieves break neck speeds, (that is by breaking the innocent bystanders necks) by some craxzy ass rash driving, but also with his Horn. (now you know the story of the title)
I will call him the Arnold Schwarzenegger of horns.
He has a horn for every occassion and every situation.
But why Arnold Schwarzenegger? simply because in the Movie commando, he has a gun for every occasion.
Here is an MP5, ideal for cleaning teeth, combing hair and blowing off the earlobes of a person within a 70ft range.
Next on the shelf is a baretta 0.45, ideal for combating road rage, silincing irratating critters and mugging someone.
anyways, my gentleman bus driver, has a horn for every body. His body, her body, dead body, everybody!
First, the high pitched Air horn, for close combat: If its a 2 wheeler, or a bus within a 10 ft range. The range here is from my bus's front bumper to the driver of the condemed vehicle. consistent blowing gives everyone such a headache that they have to pull over to buy an asprin. the day it was fitted, i could swear that the driver wore a wicked smile seeing other drivers veer off near pharmacys. i on the other hand sitting right behind this maniac almost threw up due to the consistant badgering.
Next, the regular horn. tuned to the note C on a keyboard, however far far less pleasant, this is used as the standard equipment horn. red light turns to green, PHWEEEEE! Green light turns to red! PHWEEEEE!( Now, this is only if he bother to stop, i did however wonder why did he do that, was he displaying his displeausre at the signal, well, these are one of those GAKs, or God Alone Knows)
Incase there is a vehicle who is refusing to move from his path, there is the multi note horn, i suspect its tuned to C and A, does break across wavelenghts. The amplitude is also rather large as this is BLOODY loud. so, if he begings to loose his cool, in comes the MP5 of horns.
Now the mother of all horns, The OICW of horns ( Objective Individual Combat Weapon for the un initiated, it was a special weapons program by HK), the THREE tone horn, this is once he HAs lost his cool. now i would much rather not be around when he does blow it, and defninlty not in Front of the bloody bus, but this is saved for those rare occasions of Lboard dirives, and imcompetent nincompops. !
anyways, i am sure from past history our gentleman has a hidden stash of horns like grenades. he keeps replenshing his arsenal every now and then.
well, god do help those who cross his path, and refuse to give way, even if there is NO way to move, just move!
:)
Sunday, February 26, 2006
OGiM
The day,
It commeth,
Like any other,
Knowing not,
The tragedy it bring-eth,
For it sets in the Sunday evening,
Bringing in the blues,
For that its Monday commeth,
Like no other day,
It banishes the weekend,
Like no other day,
It banishes the smile.
You wonder were the fun and frolic went,
To see no one with a smile.
You sit at your desk,
You wonder what to type,
Then you think and say,
Aah the three musketeers,
Joy they bring,
So I type a few words to thee all,
Have a great week ahead!
It commeth,
Like any other,
Knowing not,
The tragedy it bring-eth,
For it sets in the Sunday evening,
Bringing in the blues,
For that its Monday commeth,
Like no other day,
It banishes the weekend,
Like no other day,
It banishes the smile.
You wonder were the fun and frolic went,
To see no one with a smile.
You sit at your desk,
You wonder what to type,
Then you think and say,
Aah the three musketeers,
Joy they bring,
So I type a few words to thee all,
Have a great week ahead!
Friday, February 24, 2006
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Monday'ers
Go yonder to the ‘ills,
To smell the fresh air,
My lungs, me love to fills,
Neither the dew, nor dusk,
Nor the tea with rusk,
Puts my thoughts,
Onto paying my bills.
For I am now,
Sitting at my desk,
Wondering how,
My weekend went,
But the task at hand, surviving with the band,
Of so called company frills!
To smell the fresh air,
My lungs, me love to fills,
Neither the dew, nor dusk,
Nor the tea with rusk,
Puts my thoughts,
Onto paying my bills.
For I am now,
Sitting at my desk,
Wondering how,
My weekend went,
But the task at hand, surviving with the band,
Of so called company frills!
Friday, February 10, 2006
The case of the blathering baboon.
I remember times when we used to see some serials that talk about animals, particularly monkeys, they used to show that monkeys, when they get agitated, they shriek... and a lot at that.
now, I think I found our link to our hairy, tailed, social predecessors.
its our security guards.
sometimes, I guess I can just stand back and marvel at the way they behave when the busses are coming in. The cacophony of the whistles, gives the exact semblance to the screeching of the monkeys in the cage.... khhheee .. kheee,,,, khee hhheeek hsskhskhehkekekeke ..
I guess roughly translates to.... "Hey dudes, check out that couple walking towards us, maybe we should act like them, .... no, why should we... look at those poor souls, trapped in a cage... not free like us.... noo... soo sad... HEY.. YOU TWO... HEY... COME HERE... YOU WANT SOME SNACKY SNACKY?... HEY.... they are not paying attention, ... obviously Moron,,... Only I, the smartest monkey around here.. Can talk... "Human"..... eeehhhmm... HEY, you foul smelling, ignoramus, potatohead, strange skined moron... get your ass here, before come there and make you.....
and from past experience... we just hear it as..... kkkhhheeee heeeeekkkhehe ekhekheeeheek ehekehekeheeeee ekheeeeeeeekeh ekhkee......
then, we as humans go, hmmm.. look at those cute monkeys, imagine if we could understand what they are saying. Lets take a picture...
well, the security guards, are just the same. The monkeys in the cage... the difference is...
monkeys who have the brains, don't have whistles, and I cant say the same for us homosapiens.
I have tried taxing my brains to wondering, why... WHY in the name do they whistle so so very often.... and I have come to just one conclusion.
its a male ego thing. "he who whistles the loudest at the biggest bus, is the bravest. Well.. alas... all is woe!!
now, I think I found our link to our hairy, tailed, social predecessors.
its our security guards.
sometimes, I guess I can just stand back and marvel at the way they behave when the busses are coming in. The cacophony of the whistles, gives the exact semblance to the screeching of the monkeys in the cage.... khhheee .. kheee,,,, khee hhheeek hsskhskhehkekekeke ..
I guess roughly translates to.... "Hey dudes, check out that couple walking towards us, maybe we should act like them, .... no, why should we... look at those poor souls, trapped in a cage... not free like us.... noo... soo sad... HEY.. YOU TWO... HEY... COME HERE... YOU WANT SOME SNACKY SNACKY?... HEY.... they are not paying attention, ... obviously Moron,,... Only I, the smartest monkey around here.. Can talk... "Human"..... eeehhhmm... HEY, you foul smelling, ignoramus, potatohead, strange skined moron... get your ass here, before come there and make you.....
and from past experience... we just hear it as..... kkkhhheeee heeeeekkkhehe ekhekheeeheek ehekehekeheeeee ekheeeeeeeekeh ekhkee......
then, we as humans go, hmmm.. look at those cute monkeys, imagine if we could understand what they are saying. Lets take a picture...
well, the security guards, are just the same. The monkeys in the cage... the difference is...
monkeys who have the brains, don't have whistles, and I cant say the same for us homosapiens.
I have tried taxing my brains to wondering, why... WHY in the name do they whistle so so very often.... and I have come to just one conclusion.
its a male ego thing. "he who whistles the loudest at the biggest bus, is the bravest. Well.. alas... all is woe!!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
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