Monday, March 06, 2006

Sunday, March 05, 2006


well, the devious marketeers mind can think of any hook to catch the gulliable fish( Read:Customer) to try the goods. in this case, my devious mind thinks of the seven sins, and well, since you have reached till this line, i can assume my strategy has work. sadly, this has nothing to do with any of the seven sins, but more like the 8th sin. Being an irate bus driver.
i must tell you at this point of the kind gentleman, who's service to my company is his unique skill of driving a 40ft piece of metal like a 6ft rover mini. the best part is that he not only lives an illusion that the piece of metal, that is a 20tonne bus, is as small as a car, but also that he is driving a rally in traffic.
he achieves break neck speeds, (that is by breaking the innocent bystanders necks) by some craxzy ass rash driving, but also with his Horn. (now you know the story of the title)

I will call him the Arnold Schwarzenegger of horns.
He has a horn for every occassion and every situation.
But why Arnold Schwarzenegger? simply because in the Movie commando, he has a gun for every occasion.

Here is an MP5, ideal for cleaning teeth, combing hair and blowing off the earlobes of a person within a 70ft range.
Next on the shelf is a baretta 0.45, ideal for combating road rage, silincing irratating critters and mugging someone.

anyways, my gentleman bus driver, has a horn for every body. His body, her body, dead body, everybody!

First, the high pitched Air horn, for close combat: If its a 2 wheeler, or a bus within a 10 ft range. The range here is from my bus's front bumper to the driver of the condemed vehicle. consistent blowing gives everyone such a headache that they have to pull over to buy an asprin. the day it was fitted, i could swear that the driver wore a wicked smile seeing other drivers veer off near pharmacys. i on the other hand sitting right behind this maniac almost threw up due to the consistant badgering.

Next, the regular horn. tuned to the note C on a keyboard, however far far less pleasant, this is used as the standard equipment horn. red light turns to green, PHWEEEEE! Green light turns to red! PHWEEEEE!( Now, this is only if he bother to stop, i did however wonder why did he do that, was he displaying his displeausre at the signal, well, these are one of those GAKs, or God Alone Knows)

Incase there is a vehicle who is refusing to move from his path, there is the multi note horn, i suspect its tuned to C and A, does break across wavelenghts. The amplitude is also rather large as this is BLOODY loud. so, if he begings to loose his cool, in comes the MP5 of horns.

Now the mother of all horns, The OICW of horns ( Objective Individual Combat Weapon for the un initiated, it was a special weapons program by HK), the THREE tone horn, this is once he HAs lost his cool. now i would much rather not be around when he does blow it, and defninlty not in Front of the bloody bus, but this is saved for those rare occasions of Lboard dirives, and imcompetent nincompops. !

anyways, i am sure from past history our gentleman has a hidden stash of horns like grenades. he keeps replenshing his arsenal every now and then.
well, god do help those who cross his path, and refuse to give way, even if there is NO way to move, just move!
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