Monday, July 12, 2010

ive lost!

the doctors told me that i need to lose a significant amount of weight. so i went on this excercise routing, where i did loose a lot of fat first. So after mch stress and hard work, this is how i looked

To boost that, i fell ill, and lost even more weight. :) so this is how i look now.

Monday, July 05, 2010

I married superwoman!

Over the last two weeks, things have been on a bit of a roller coaster for me, in the health department specifically. Been battling fever every now and then, and finally i got run down by the fever bus. But all through this this, my wife has been awesomely supportive and not a hint of anger, frustration or even angst about how my health was going. She patiently drove me to the doctors, gave me cold compresses and gave me "healthy food", usually making it specifically for me. When I had to finally get admitted to the hospital, I did feel a sense of relief, with the fact that she can now relax and there were nurses to run around and take care of me. But yet, she spent the nights in the hospital, and went to work during the week, and followed the whole routine.

I came back home on Saturday, and i was most worried about being a burden on my wife, but i was most amazed with the energy with which she handled everything, and had the energy for more. Making juice, food, bringing me the tabs. etc etc. One thing typhoid (or whatever I am suffering from) does is drain you so bad that brushing your teeth looks like a herculean task. So with the way I see her zipping around, only two things come to mind,

a) Thank you god for giving me such an awesome life companion and
b) I married superwoman! :)

Sunday, June 13, 2010

#Kites- A #review

Kites - i did not get too many positive reviews on the movie, so i thought i might just give it a skip, but then tata sky decided to feature it on showcase and for 75 bucks, i got to watch it, cheaper than buying a DVD and much cheaper than watching it in the theater, plus its legal - so i can relax! :)

At first i thought, how would they make a Spanish woman talk hindi - and with her saying "Mey ullu ki patti hu" was hilarious, but very nicely done, i must comment.

Though the end was a bit depressing, I would have preferred an end where "they live happily ever after" but in this case they live in the happily ever after. The baddies play some crazy baddies. the best part was it was a short movie, and it did not seem to drag. no song dance in the meadows with hero and heroine running towards each other. Rain dance happened, but it was classy.

The cinematography was interesting, with some different lighting angles and shots. The car chase scenes were interesting, though copied from a wide selection of movies, the jumping onto the balloon and jumping off into the lake, as far as i remember - a first for a Desi flick.

None the less, a good entertainer. Kudos to the team.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

the most idiotic holdup! Watch and enjoy!

Man walks in, pulls out gun, throws bag on table to fill.
but is ignored.
man leaves.
I cant seem to find the linky for the video directly- so please watch it on the Mirror website:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/06/02/is-this-the-world-s-most-pathetic-hold-up-watch-the-video-115875-22303415/

Monday, May 31, 2010

Limca Advert song!

Found the song finally on the internet. Not great quality recording, but none the less - the songs here!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

#Ad #Review - #LMN

I recently caught a review of the new set of LMN TVCs on Agency FAQs a premier provider of advertising content in India (as they say, 2nd only to brand channel which is a huge thing). I decided to check out the ads after reading the review and was sadly disappointed.

The first TVC that was brought out was about the person who was thirsty and was really small, and he becomes big after drinking LMN, Now this TVC, initially made no sense what so ever, but then it sticks to your head. Parle seems to be good at commissioning creative ads, but the disconnect comes with the distribution, as it has been clearly outlined by the smart chips. The TVC is brilliant with Aamir Khan displaying some really cool parkour moves, but then if you go to the shop to pick up a packet of smart chips - its not available on the shelves. So ideally, a campaign with a national foot print should infact be supported by the necessary distribution network to enable the customer to exercise the buying decision.

Back to the LMN advert, the new set of adverts is disappointing.

Firstly, as creative as these might be, I personally believe that the closure is not happening in the ad. I dislike limca as it is way to carbonated for my liking, but the advert is something that sticks to my mind. You drink it you get refreshed. This coupled with some catchy tunes makes it a killer. The first LMN advert conveyed that point, you drink it you get refreshed, however, the new set of bushmen ads fails to send home that message - LMN is what you drink if you are thirsty. The ad establishes the thirst angle, but it fails to convey that message of refreshment achieved by consuming the drink when one is that thirsty.

catch more reviews here:
http://www.afaqs.com/perl/news/story.html?sid=27029

Sunday, May 09, 2010

#virgin Mobile ads

A friend sent me these ads to add cheer to a monday morning and Oh! boy! it did.

Watch the set of ads - and Laugh your ass off! :)





Set 2



Set 3

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Intel hots up the mobile computing platform

It looks like hand helds are the way forward. with intel making a big push, its time people sat up and took notice. With the intels atom processor, first made for netbooks, then moved to the ULCC and now finally to the handheld. Intel is taking ARM and TI head on.

From V3.co.uk

Intel has begun a greater push into the mobile device market with new versions of its Atom processor that cut energy consumption sufficiently to fit inside a smartphone or web tablet, while offering greater performance than ARM-based chips, according to the firm.

Announced today, the Intel Atom Z6xx series forms part of Intel's Moorestown platform, and offers a claimed 50-fold reduction in power consumption compared with the previous generation of Atom chips.

Intel said that this is low enough for them to power a mobile handset and offer a battery life comparable to current smartphones.

However, the chipmaker also claimed that its new platform offers a greater level of performance than ARM-based designs for running applications, browsing the web, and video and graphics. Intel also touted compatibility with its other x86 chips as a major advantage for software developers.

Rod O'Shea, director of Intel's embedded group for EMEA, commented that smartphones are just "computers that happen to make phone calls", and that the technology shown today "hits the sweet spot for this environment".

Devices based on the platform are set to ship in the second half of 2010, according to Intel, but the firm declined to name any vendor aiming to market an Atom-based smartphone within this timeframe. However, Intel did demonstrate to the press a reference handset design running Moblin, alongside a larger 7in tablet system from OpenPeak.


The phone, bearing an Aavamobile badge, was shown running the Quake 3 game in one demonstration, and multi-tasking with a movie playing alongside a running 3D benchmark, and a live video feed open in adjacent windows in another. Previously codenamed Lincroft, the Atom Z6xx series divides into separate chips aimed at smartphones and tablets. The smartphone chips have clock speeds up to 1.5GHz and use low-power LPDDR memory, while those targeting tablet dev ices run at up to 1.9GHz and support standard DDR2.

Both have built-in PowerVR 3D graphics acceleration, plus hardware acceleration for video encoding and decoding. In fact, Intel claimed that Moorestown is the only smartphone platform capable of handling high-definition 1080p video.

Design features helping to save power include new ultra-low power idle states, Operating System Power Management (OSPM), and a technology called Intel Burst Performance, which is similar to the Turbo mode on Intel's Core chips.

OSPM uses an operating system-level utility to monitor which functional blocks of the processor are not being used, and powers these off completely.

Meanwhile, power consumption while idle is reduced to about 100 microwatts in the new SOi3 power state. More importantly, the Atom can come out of this in just a few milliseconds, according to Intel, so that it can 'wake up' to deal with an incoming call, for example.

Intel Burst Performance bumps up the performance of the chip so that it spends as little time as possible in maximum power mode, according to Tikky Thakkar, Intel Fellow at the firm's Ultra Mobility Group.

"It allows us to complete work very quickly and then go back to idle mode," he said, adding that it is like "having your cake and eating it. You can have high performance and reduce overall energy."

A companion chip, the MP20 Platform Controller Hub, lumps together numerous miscellaneous functions, dubbed 'jellybeans' by Intel, such as the system controller, camera support, audio engine and hardware cryptography acceleration. Taken together, these features mean that an Atom-based handset can have a battery life of over 10 days while idle, or four to five hours while showing video or browsing the web, according to Intel.

At the same time, the Atom processor outperforms existing phone chips, and Intel quoted SpecInt 2000 benchmarks that rate it between 1.5 to three times faster than ARM-based chips such as the Cortex A9 and A8 and Qualcomm's Scorpion processor.

Intel is thus looking to take some of ARM's share in the smartphone market, and experts believe that it does have an opportunity to muscle in at the high end. There's certainly an opportunity for Intel if it can offer better performance," said Ovum principal analyst Adam Leach.

However, Leach suggested that Intel "faces an uphill battle" because ARM has been in this market for so long, and its chips are optimised to maximise performance and power efficiency.

"Intel claims huge strides here, but we will have to see products in the market before we can judge," he said.


Meanwhile, Tim Coulling of research firm Canalys said that Intel's platform could benefit from the advantage of familiarity for developers. "What Intel always says is that it brings developers to the game, and enables developers familiar with the x86 architecture to bring their expertise to new platforms," he said.

Another issue is that many of the most common mobile platforms are coded for the ARM platform, while Intel can count only on Google's Android and its own Linux-based Moblin/Meego platform so far. But Coulling said that most users "don't really know or care what is on their phone", and speculated that Intel might try to take advantage of its 'Intel Inside' marketing that has proved a success with PCs and laptops.

"It will be interesting to see if they try and transfer that to other devices," he said.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

of cracks and surround!

Now a days, I have managed to make my life fairly regular when it comes to going to the Gym. I wake up, drop my wife off, and try and clock atleast an hour each day. Yes, health has taken a priority, and it is in my best interest to make sure I am able to allocate time to do this. So, the days that i do visit the gym, something or the other should happen, else woulnt it make life boring? it will then become a scene from Joe vs the volcano, where you live your life as a mindless drone, walking, talking and doing the exact same thing on the exact same moment, Every day.

The last serious entertainment at the gym happened with mr. testosterone and the russian water ballet movement in front of the mirror. Which is interesting to note, that I have not seen him for a while now. Yes, I am rather regular to make the statement with a sense of authority, yup, have not seen him for a while. I think he ran out of white socks that came upto his shorts.

Well, like with every gym, the one i frequent has mirrors on all walls, now I thought this was simply because of the fact that everyone who visits the gym, would like to admire themselves to no effect. But, the truth is far from that. Apparently, when you see yourself doing exercise, its like watching someone else do it, so you end up keeping yourself company, what a sad world we have come to, when the only person in a room full of people to keep you company is yourself. Wow!

What is the flypside of having mirrors all over? Whatever happens, gets reflected all around you - thus the surround concept. Its like a page out of the Enter the Dragon movie, in the house of mirrors, but a lot more disturbing. Esp when people bend over and their pants dont cover.. its terrible and disturbing. Might be classified as one of those `scaring for life` moments! :)

I wonder if someone will ever create a rule for the gym, along with shoes and clean socks, one should ensure your pants cover that crack! Else, some people will be worried that evertime someone in fron bends down, you get a halfmoon! :)

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

ESMA for IT?

Today's paper carried an article - http://www.livemint.com/2010/05/04155853/What-is-Esma.html?h=E

About the AP government bringing the IT sector under the purview of ESMA or Essential Services Maintenance Act - now this is rather scary.

As one manager from a company has been quoted as saying:

”[W]hat this means for employees is that they cannot resort to strikes. Also, they cannot cite bandhs or a curfew as an excuse not to report to work. Moreover, companies which depend heavily on outside transport providers had to bear the brunt as the transport services were hit during a bandh or a curfew.”


ESMA needs to be invoked in the event that larger establishments like truckers unions, ATC etc which, if they go on strike will bring hardship to the common man, however, with the IT sector coming into this, it is both pointless and another step towards draconian measures that are being taken to ensure that the golden goose is squeezed till the last egg drops. When has it been in the past where the IT sector has called a `strike` ? there are strict rules in anyones offer letters about forming or even joining unions, and this is to prevent the exact same thing from happening. There are a lot of injustices being meted out to employees, yes, there are cushy jobs, high salaries but the work timings are crazy and equality is non existent.

I dont think its correct to bring the IT Sector under the purview of ESMA. Period! how is it that if a bandh is called, the government can invoke ESMA for the IT Sector? that means the government must then ensure that no bandh is called, else it will make it impossible for them to work. I think its crazy involving the IT sector under ESMA.


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

interesting #statistics

I was going through some reports on the locations from where people have accessed my blog! very interesting! :)

Mr. V - thanks for visiting from Switzerland!

India (IN)
United States (US)
United Kingdom (GB)
Europe (EU)
Canada (CA)
Russian Federation (RU)
Singapore (SG)
Switzerland (CH)
Asia/Pacific Region (AP)
Australia (AU)
Turkey (TR)
Bahrain (BH)
Germany (DE)
Malaysia (MY)
Netherlands (NL)
Slovakia (SK)
France (FR)
Ukraine (UA)
Japan (JP)
Vietnam (VN)
Sri Lanka (LK)
Brazil (BR)
Hong Kong (HK)
Egypt (EG)
Greece (GR)
Korea, Republic of (KR)
Serbia (RS)

How to make your parents like your choice of bride! :) #hillarious!

How to make your parents like your choice of bride! :)
__________________________________________________
DISCLAIMER-
I received this as an email forward, this is not my work but that of someone else. That said, if the original writer wishes me to take this down, I will do so immediately. Please message me to do the same. Till such times, enjoy the post.
___________________________________________________

Grandmother was pretending to be lost in prayer, but her prayer-beads were pulling at top speed. That meant she was either excited or upset.
Mother put the receiver down.

"Some American girl in his office. She's coming to stay with us for a week." She sounded as if she had a deep foreboding.

Father had no such doubt. He knew the worst was to come. He had been matching horoscopes for a year, but my brother Vivek had found a million excuses for not being able to visit India, meet or call any of the short-listed Aiyer girls, or in any other way advance father's cause. Father always wore two parallel lines of sacred ash on his forehead. Now there were four, so deep were the furrows of worry on his forehead.

I sat in a corner, supposedly lost in a book, but furiously text-messaging my brother with a vivid description of the scene before me.
A few days later I stood outside the airport with father. He tried not to look directly at any American woman going past. I held up the card reading "Barbara".
Finally a large woman stepped out, waved wildly and shouted "Hi! Mr. Aayyyer, how ARE you?"

Everyone turned and looked at us. Father shrank visibly before my eyes. Barbara took three long steps and held father in a tight embrace. Father's jiggling out of it was too funny to watch. I could hear him whispering "Shivva, Shivva, Narayana."
She shouted "you must be Vijaantee?"

"Yes, Vyjayanthi", I said with a pleasant smile. I imagined little, half-Indian children to be born calling me "Vijaantee aunty." Suddenly, my colourless existence in Madurai had perked up. For at least the next one week, life promised to be quite exciting.

Soon we were having lunch together at home. Barbara had changed into an even shorter skirt. The low neckline of her blouse was just in line with shocked father's eyes. He was scowling at mother as if she was the cause of all problems in the family.
Barbara was asking, "You only have vegetarian food? Always??" as if the idea was shocking to her.

"You know what really goes well with Indian food, especially chicken? Indian beer!" she said with a smile, seemingly oblivious of the apoplexy of the gentleman sitting in front of her or the choking sounds coming from mother. I muffled my giggles. Everyone tried to get the facts without asking the one question on all our minds: What was the exact nature of the relationship between Vivek and Barbara?

After lunch, she brought out a laptop computer. "I have some pictures of Vivek", she said.

All of us crowded around her. The first picture was quite innocuous. Vivek was wearing shorts and standing alone on the beach. In the next photo, he had Barbara draped all over him. She was wearing a skimpy bikini and leaning across, with her hand lovingly circling his neck.

Father got up and flicked the thin towel off his shoulder. It was a gesture we in the family had learned to fear. He rushed to the door and went out.

Barbara said, "It must be hard for Mr. Aayyezh. He must be missing his son."

We didn't have the heart to tell her that if the son had been within father’s reach, father would have wrung the neck she had lovingly circled with her hand in the photo.
My parents and grandmother apparently had reached an unspoken agreement. They would deal with Vivek later. Right now, Barbara was a foreigner, a lone woman, and needed to be treated as an honored guest. It must be said that Barbara didn't make that one bit easy. Soon mother wore a perpetual frown. Father looked as though he was destined to pay for his Karma.

Vivek had said he would be in a conference in Guatemala all week, and would be off both phone and email. But Barbara had long lovey-dovey conversations on phone with two other men, one man named Steve and another named Keith. We all strained our ears to hear every interesting word. "I miss you!" she said to both. She also kept talking to us about Vivek and about the places they'd visited together. She had pictures to prove it, too.

This was the best play I'd watched in a long time. It was even better than the day my cousin ran away with a Telugu Christian girl. My aunt had come howling through the door, and made it to the plush sofa before falling in a faint.
Father said that if it had been his son, the door would have been forever shut in his face.

Aunt had promptly revived and said, "You'll know when it is your son!" How my aunt would rejoice if she knew of Barbara!

On day five of her visit, the family awoke to the awful sound of Barbara's retching. The bathroom door was shut, the water was running, but far louder was the sound of Barbara crying and throwing up at the same time. Mother and grandmother exchanged ominous glances. Barbara came out. Her face was red.

"I don't know why", she said, "but I feel queasy in the mornings now."
If she had seen as many Indian movies as I'd seen, she'd know why. Mother was standing as if turned to stone. Was she supposed to react with compassion reserved for a pregnant woman? Or with the criticism reserved for a pregnant unmarried woman? Or with fear reserved for a pregnant, unmarried, foreign woman who could embroil one's son in a paternity suit? Mother, who navigated familiar flows of married life with the skill of a champion oarsman, now seemed completely taken off her moorings. She seemed to hope that if she didn't react, it might disappear like a bad dream.
I made a mental note to not leave home at all for the next week. Whatever my parents would say to Vivek when they finally got a-hold of him would be too interesting to miss. To my dismay, they never got a chance.

The day Barbara was to leave, we got a short email from Vivek. "Sorry, still stuck in Guatemala. Just wanted to mention, another friend of mine, Sameera Sheikh needs a place to stay. She'll fly in from Hyderabad tomorrow at 10am. Sorry for the trouble."
So there we were, father and I, waiting outside the airport with a board painted in thick felt pen: "Sameera".

At last, a pretty young woman in salwar-khameez saw the board, gave the smallest of smiles and walked quietly towards us. When she did 'Namaste' to father, I saw his eyes mist up. She took my hand in the friendliest way and said "Hello, Vyjayanthi, I've heard so much about you." I fell in love with her.

In the car, father was unusually friendly. She and Vivek had been in the same group of friends in Ohio University. She now worked as a Child Psychologist.
She didn't seem to be too bad at family psychology either. She took out a shawl for grandmother, a saree for mother and Hyderabadi bangles for me. "Just some small things for you. I have to meet a professor at Madurai University, and it's so nice of you to let me stay", she said. Everyone cheered up.

Even grandmother smiled.

At lunch Sameera said, "This is so nice. When I make sambar, it comes out like chhole, and my chhole tastes just like sambar!"
Mother was smiling. "Oh just watch for two days and you'll pick it up."
Grandmother had never allowed a Muslim to enter the kitchen. But mother seemed to have taken charge and decided she would bring in who ever she felt was worthy.
Sameera circumspectly stayed out of the puja room. But on the third day, I was stunned to see father inviting her in and telling her which idols had come to him from his father. "God is one", he said to her. Sameera nodded sagely.
By the fifth day, I could see a common thought forming in the family's collective brain. If this fellow had to choose his own bride, why couldn't it be someone like Sameera?

On the sixth day, when Vivek called from the airport saying he had cut short his Guatemala trip and was on his way home, all had a million things to discuss with him.
Vivek arrived by taxi at a time when Sameera had gone to the University.
"So, how was Barbara's visit?" he asked blithely.
"How did you meet her?" mother sternly asked him.
"She's my secretary", he said. "She works very hard and she'll do anything to help." He turned and winked at me.

By the time Sameera returned home that evening, it was almost as if her joining the family was my grandmother and parents’ idea.
"Don't worry about anything. Just tell us if you are willing to marry Vivek", they said to Sameera, "And we will talk to your parents."

On the wedding day, a huge bouquet arrived at the Mantapam. The tag said: "Flight to India - $1300, Indian kurta - $5, Emetic to throw up - $1, The look on your parents' faces - Priceless. - As always yours, Barbara.”

Monday, April 26, 2010

ibn reports that one party does not give shit to another!


http://ibnlive.in.com/news/cong-did-not-initiate-1984-antisikh-riots/113969-37-64.html?from=tn

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

men are from mars - women from all over - an #email #forward!

got this via email this morning, old one- but hilarious! :)


A prime example of 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus' offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix .

The professor told his class one day, 'Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.'

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----

THE STORY

(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary )
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. 'A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,' he said into his transgalactic communicator. 'Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far...' But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. 'Congress Passed Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,' Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. 'Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?' she wondered wistfully..

( Gary )
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to
live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian
mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion
missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the
Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile
alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.
Within two hours after the passage of the treaty
the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one
to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan..
The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded.
The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine
headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam ,
felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious
neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary
equivalent of Valium. 'Oh, shall I have chamomile tea?
Or shall I have some other sort of F**KING TEA??? Oh no,
what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
too many Danielle Steele novels!'

(Rebecca)
Asshole!

( Gary )
Bitch!

(Rebecca)
F **K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

( Gary )
Go drink some tea - whore.


(TEACHER)
A + I really liked this

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Men are lecherous

As a man, i should be defending my own kind by not saying such things, but yesterday - i witnessed the most hilarious and ludicrous display of male hormones, and this made me have to spill it out somewhere.

location - the gym
time - early morning

In the testosterone filled gym there is a lady who does her workout. Being a small gym, everyone does their own thing, finishes up and leaves. But yesterday was different. There was a new member. New members are fun to watch. They fall into three distinct categories.

a) first time gym goers
b) gym transfer candidates or
c) restarting gyming after a while.

How do you know which kind. Its pretty obvious. The first time gym goers dont know the stepper from the cross trainer or how to start a treadmill, they must have someone pressing the button and telling them how to do it. The enthusiasm generally gets them moving much faster than their body would like, and then you see them falling like leaves or sitting down after a session on the treadmill- which in reality completly undoes everything that has been done before that.

So, this new member, of the same species comes in. like a middle aged man who is trying to look hep, he stood out of the crowd like a lobster in a sea of sardines. The shorts were pulled up to his navel, socks nearly reaching up to his knees and shoes. Quite a hilarious site if you actually had seen it.

Now, he is standing at the registration desk. Our lady walks past to get some weights to continue her routine. Like someone who has taken a concentrated shot of caffeine our man walks to the center of the room, and starts some really crazy ass routine of stretching. Now what inspired this sudden flash of adrenaline - is only one source. But the outcome was about 15 minutes of entertainment for the ones who noticed. I was trying hard not to laugh at him at his face, and covered my mouth to hide the smirk, but it WAS hard to avoid! :). IT was, for the lack of a better word, Ridiculous.

Usually the pattern is the same, notice... stare, lech, stare and then look elsewhere and busy. but in those few moments, i shudder to think of the thoughts that might have gone through the head. If a lady walks past, and most men, irrespective of age, location, nationality or educational qualification follow the very same steps- look, stare, lech, stare and then look busy.

Guess,this is life!

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Holy Smoke- Highly Unholy! a #review - #Fail!

Firstly, when i started reading about this place, i was thinking to myself that finally, there appears to be one more steak place in Chennai. but sadly, i would dismiss this place completely. We spent 2 hours for 2 dishes, 1 starter and 2 deserts- hardly the time one would look at spending at an ambiance such as this. The prices on the menu "card" were exotic, yet the experience was far from the prices that were being paid. The menu "card" was printed paper stapled together. Some other patron had ticked on the menu card and crossed off certain dishes- must have been the job of a good Samaritan.

It had the prices of a fine dining, but none of the elements, be it ambience, music, food, quantities or even the experience, were fine dining. The arrangement of the food was a feeble attempt to undo the injustice being done in all other sectors. The music was inappropriate - but good. the only saving grace of the evening. YEt, it was way to loud.

I really don't know what Holy Smoke was trying to achieve, because it neither gives one the confidence of a great restaurant, nor does it deliver on the experience front. I for one would never go back there again nor would i recommend it.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Always ASK never ASSUME! Hillarious!

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.

He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.


Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'

'Why?' asked the pilot.

'Because I'm a photographer for CNN' , he responded, 'and I need to get
some close up shots.'

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?'

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Fuel for Thought

Over the weekend, I filled up my fuel tank, and I thought petrol has become really expensive after the recent price hike.

But then I compared it with other common liquids and did some quick calculations, and I felt a little better.

To know why, see the results below you'll be surprised at how outrageous some other prices are!

Diesel (regular) in Mumbai: Rs. 36.08 per litre

Petrol (regular unleaded) in Mumbai: Rs. 50.51 per litre

Coca Cola 330 ml can: Rs. 20 = Rs. 61 per litre

Dettol antiseptic 100 ml Rs. 20 = Rs. 200 per litre

Radiator coolant 500 ml Rs. 160 = Rs. 320 per litre

Pantene conditioner 400 ml Rs. 165 = Rs. 413 per litre

Medicinal mouthwash like Listerine 100 ml Rs. 45 = Rs. 450 per litre

Red Bull 150 ml can: Rs. 75 = Rs. 500 per litre

Corex cough syrup 100 ml Rs. 57 = Rs. 570 per litre

Evian water 500 ml Rs. 330 = Rs.. 660 per litre
Rs.. 500 for a litre of WATER???!!! And the buyers don't even know the source (Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)

Kores white-out 15 ml Rs. 15 = Rs. 1000 per litre

Cup of coffee at any decent business hotel 150 ml Rs. 175 = Rs. 1167 per litre

Old Spice after shave lotion 100 ml Rs. 175 = Rs.. 1750 per litre

Pure almond oil 25 ml Rs. 68 = Rs. 2720 per litre

And this is the REAL KICKER...
HP DeskJet colour ink cartridge 21 ml Rs.1900 = Rs. 90476 per litre!!!

Now you know why computer printers are so cheap? So they have you hooked for the ink!

So, the next time you're at the pump, don't curse our honorable Petroleum minister just be glad your Bike / car doesn't run on cough syrup, after shave, coffee, or God forbid, printer ink!
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